Starting Five: US versus UK in Rock

A few weeks ago the guys in my proto-band Growler debated the musical prowess of the US versus the UK. It became readily apparent that if you are talking about bands, the US gets smoked.

Consider fielding your starting five bands if you’re British. You’ve got The Beatles at point guard, The Stones at forward and Zepellin at center. Those three alone could pretty much take the US. Add in Pink Floyd at off guard, The Clash at power forward and you’ve got a tremendous starting five.

Not to mention how deep the UK bench goes. The Who, the Police, U2 and The Sex Pistols could claim to be starters as well.

How could the US match up against that? With the Grateful Dead, Beastie Boys and The Doors? Ouch! Metallica could do a workmanlike job, but they’d eventually wear down in a 7 game series. Nirvana would be an interesting wild card to put out there, kind of like a Dennis Rodman or Birdman type, but not sure they’d come through in the clutch. Talking Heads? Please.

For some reason the best US bands US are dominated by a singular persona like Morrison and Jerry Garcia – no one knows who the drummer to The Doors was.

So let’s say the US gets to field individual artists. Now it gets interesting. Put James Brown at point guard, Jimi Hendrix at forward, and Elvis Pressley at center. Controversial choice here, but I’d start Madonna at shooting guard – super clutch, big game shooter. I’m thinking I’d put out Bruce Springsteen at the other forward. Though I might go with Frank Sinatra at this position instead. Maybe Stevie Wonder?

And think of how versatile this team would be. Like Magic Johnson, Hendrix could legitimately play all five positions. J.B. can be both a maestro and a shooter. The Boss could be both a calming influence as well as an explosive scorer on the team. The UK team would rigid roles – Beatles writing perfectly crafted songs, The Clash and Zep providing muscle, and Floyd spacing out. The US team would display a beautiful, flowing unpredictable game, with players endlessly riffing on each other and bringing new ideas to the table.

Deep bench for the US here as well. Prince would be a terrific sixth man . Johnny Cash would be a tremendous enforcer, unafraid of the hard foul. Bob Dylan could make the case to start. Take your pick of guitar heroes: SRV, B.B. King, Santana and Muddy Waters. (Think how comparatively weak the UK is here. Clapton is perhaps the only UK solo act that could even make the US team, much less be a starter).

Not sure what to do about Michael Jackson. Surely MJ in his heyday had unstoppable game, but his behavior these days would really throw off the team chemistry. Same goes for Snoop Dogg.

So back to the big matchup: The Beatles, Floyd, The Rolling Stones, The Clash and Led Zepellin versus James Brown, Madonna, Jimi Hendrix, Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Pressley.

I dunno. I still have a feeling the UK is going to pull this one out.

Thoughts?